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Sunday, March 04, 2007

Are they serious?

Author/screenwriter Lee Goldberg recounted some of the stupidest queries he got while attending at a writers conference in San Francisco, all from folks hoping to break into the television writing business. These questions just boggle the mind, basically these hopefuls aren't really looking to gain a fair entrance, but are just looking for a quick pill. I'm taking the liberty to post two of the convos that I think were particularly stupid (italics are mine):


Another person came up to me and asked me if I wrote for television. I said yes. She then asked, "How do you do that?"

"You mean, how do I write for television?"

"Yes," she said.

"I write screenplays," I said.

"Which is what, exactly?"

"The story, the action, the words that the characters say," I replied.

She stared at me. "Somebody writes that?" (no, little pixies sprinkle dust and everything just appears on the prompters for the actors to read...)

"Yes," I said, resisting the urge to strangle her. "It's like a writing a play, only for the camera instead of a theatre audience."

She shook her head. "No, it's not." (uh huh)


"I've written a book but everyone tells me it s a TV series," the man said. "How do I make it into a TV series."

"You can't, " I said, and gave my standard speech about how ideas are cheap and execution is everything, how networks go to people with TV experience, or who have written hit movies, or who have written bestselling novels, blah blah blah. And when I got done, he stared at me. I got stared at a lot today.

Hee said: "How can I get around that?"

"You can't," I said.

"Why not?"

"Because you haven't established yourself as a writer in any field," I said. "Why would a network, studio or producer buy a TV series idea from you?"

"Because I'm smarter and more talented than they are," he said.

"It's not going to happen," I said.

"Is it because I'm black?" he said. "That's it, isn't it. It's because I'm black."
(OK, brotherman, not everything is about race...)


Something tells me these folks are never going to break into show business.


Sharon Cullars Coffee Talk at 3/04/2007 09:54:00 AM Permanent Link     | | Home


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