Sharon's Muse.... Let's chat over coffee while I ponder some things
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Sharon's Muse.... Let's chat over coffee while I ponder some things |
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Saturday, July 29, 2006 A matter of personal space, a matter of respect The recent G-8 summit created a lot of media stir recently not because of the topics of international importance being discussed, but because of an interesting moment caught on tape. President Bush, while walking behind German Chancellor Merkel - who is a woman - paused in his tracks to give the Chancellor an unexpected - and quite unsolicited - backrub. Merkel, taken aback (pun intended) shrugged off the offending hands. And the media had a field day with the photo op. Monica blogs today about a posting at Best Week Ever which notes another moment caught on tape. During an episode of The View, Barbara Walters unexpectedly reached out and touched guest host Brandi's locks, embarrassing the young woman on national television. YouTV captures another Barbara Walters touchy-feely moment with yet another black guest host, this time Tanika Ray. And this time, Barbara wasn't just satisfied with touching the curly fro but actually tugged the woman's hair to see if it was real. Interestingly enough, Monica had a similar encounter with a white woman who tried to reach out and touch her hair. Now, both of these unrelated incidents stem from a very common nexus: a lack of respect manifested by the violation of someone's "space." Now some of you may argue that these are merely minor faux pas and were not done to harm or insult. But to me, these actions point to something more insidious even if "innocently" done. Question: How many of you would walk up to a stranger and give them an impromptu backrub? And how many of you would approach a woman of any race and tug her hair without asking? How many of you would expect to be knocked on your ass if you did? In my opinion, the first incident arose from a sexist belief that a woman's space is less violable than that of a man's. Note that Bush didn't offer this same backrub to any of the male leaders sitting around the table. What made Merkel so special? And what made Brandi and Tanika and other black women that Walters has "reached out and touched" so special from their white counterparts? Yes, I'm going with the racist angle. Am I calling Barbara Walters racist? Not exactly. But I am calling her actions racist. Touching black hair has had racial connotations since white men discovered "the darker race." In earlier centuries, whites thought they gained a measure of luck by rubbing the hair of a "pickanniny." As a commentor pointed out at BWE, Barbara has never reached out and touched any of her white guests or guest hosts. So why only black women? Yes, maybe she's curious about black hair. No problem with that. I have had white women question my interlocks and I have easily discussed the hair procedure with them. But no one has ever violated my space and simply reached out and touched me. A white commenter at BWE thinks Af-Americans are blowing a lot of smoke about nothing because her friends are always touching her and her hair. Well, maybe a friend can do that; but a stranger is another issue altogether. Would this same young woman want a man to just tug her hair to see if it was real? And again, would she be tempted to knock the offender on his ass? I learned quite young how sensitive people are about strangers touching their hair. I lived in a predominantly black neighborhood and came across a white girl (maybe mid teens) visiting her black friend. They were sitting on the grass and I idled up to the white girl, mesmerized by her hair (as I had been totally indoctrinated by the media to admire white hair). I just touched her a little and was swiftly rewarded with a yank of my pig tail and a shake of my head that clocked about 90 mph. Interesting that Barbara Walters never learned that lesson. I know girlfriends and sisters touch and braid each other's hair. Lovers stroke a loved one's hair. And lovers and friends give unsolicited backrubs. These are intimate touches between intimates. I'm sure Merkel no more thought herself on intimate terms with Bush than she would have any of the other leaders at the meeting and probably wondered why she was so privileged. Maybe Barbara thought of Brandi as a "girlfriend." But it was obvious that Brandi didn't share the same affection. Maybe Barbara was curious; then she should have ASKED. But from what I read, Barbara has been asking about black hair for decades. It's time she got over her fascination because it reduces her object of obsession to just that - an object - not a human being with inviolable space just as Barbara has. As for Walter's impertinent question "Is your hair real?" As someone pointed out, the return quip should have been, "Just as real as everything on you," which might have shut the surgery-altered Walters up. All of us violate someone's space at one time or another, either out of ignorance, or curiosity, or just not thinking. And we learn from our mistakes. I'm sure Bush won't be giving out any more free backrubs anytime soon. And as for Barbara, since no one seems to speak up to the woman, she's going to keep doing what she's doing. But one day, Barb, you gonna be knocked on your ass and wonder what's up.
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