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Saturday, July 23, 2011



Writing challenge

Over at the Absolute Write Sci-Fi Forum there is a monthly challenge to write a scene (around 1,000 words) based on given topics. One of July's topics was "blood spell" so I wrote up the following just to see if I could do it.

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Blood spells were rare. So rare in fact that most of the literature was no longer available either in hardcopy or online. Still, Naila remembered the words her M'dear had spoken on nights of moons and harvests, when the will-o-wisp hovered over Hangman's marsh casting a ghoulish pale that lit the darkness. That lit the way for her and M'dear, her grandmother, those nights ago as they walked toward the bog and M'dear told tales of the Meades, Naila's bloodline.

Witch. Sorceress. Nacromancer. These were words seared into her brain, her blood. Words considered archaic now, even somewhat pedestrian in a world where technology had opened paths to other worlds, to other dimensions. What was the need of old-timey religious beliefs when the gods had been proven passé?

Tonight, as Naila rediscovered the old path M'dear walked once upon a time, once upon a way, the bodies of lichens and other grasses crushed beneath her feet, sending up long remembered smells. Familiar odors that comforted. Her destination, her destiny, was only a few feet ahead – if she'd remembered correctly.

The pitch of the night was punctuated by the pinpoint flames of fireflies and her own aura, activated and set at mid-beam. The aura not only projected light but enveloped her with a shield that protected against unseen predators. Snake bites were common to the folk around here. Folk who did not venture to the city where the grown Naila now lived and worked. At least, until several days ago. The convo between her and Madley Humes played out like a holopic in her head. Like a glitch that rewound over and over.

"Naila, your numbers have been extraordinary. Out of this world, in fact. Pun intended."

He'd laughed sheepishly at his lame joke.

"The project has stalled and we just do not have a continued place for a spatial analyst right now. You see where I'm going with this? We overestimated the FEM rates, coming in much lower than anticipated."

FEM was the acronym for Frequency Equivalency Metrics which measured the gamma, alpha and various waves emanating from recently discovered planets, worm holes and universes. This latest universe discovery was believed to contain thousands of planets and billions of stars. Most important, there were signs of life. Or so they'd thought. In the end, the numbers had been wrong. Her numbers in particular. Or so she'd thought.

If she hadn't run into Davis on her last day, after she'd packed up her desk and microboxed her items into the 1x4 capsule, she'd never known the truth. That her numbers had been dead on. That Madley had lied. Had re-diverted credit from her work to his own stats. And stupidly, she'd allowed him to have all of the data so that she had nothing to verify her claim since her contributions were to have been on the hush. She'd allowed this arrangement based on some tacit agreement that she would be allowed full involvement with more important future assignments. But Madley had obviously been less than forthcoming.

The sounds were deep here in the swamp, lyrics in a symphonic composition – hissing toads, chirping crickets, other nocturnal fauna who cried out to one another. Who warned each other that a human was in their midst. Eons ago, and even now, the belief was that animals, insects and other non-humes communicated on a basic level, evincing nothing more important than messages about food, mating and danger. M'dear had long ago taught her that this was not particularly so.

M'dear had also taught her the language of the earth. Something left over from the old ways, now supplanted by technological advances.

"Neeeeee…." a toad yelled out to her. One word. "Human."

She answered with a collection of clicks created by her tongue hitting the roof of her mouth. This was followed by a series of vocal vibratos that told her tale to the animals, the insects, the non-humes.

In the end, an alligator gave up the missing piece of her puzzle. It fit nicely with the words from her M'dear that was filed away into her memories.

M'dear had warned her to never believe that the humans ran this world.

"We're here by their graciousness. Y'see the Bible had it all wrong. Man was not the ultimate creation. He was nothing more than just a thread in the fabric. We've allowed our egos to rewrite history, to push our way up the hierarchy. And now we have the nerve to believe that we are the captains of this universe. Truly, though, if the animals were ever to rise up and reclaim what is theirs, humans would not be long for this earth. Just the numbers alone would put us at a disadvantage."

M'dear had been considered a relic from the past. But in reality, even as she'd held on to the beliefs of the ancients, she'd been efficiently self-taught in the sciences, old and new. M'dear had been smarter than most. Even about death. Especially about death.

M'dear hadn't died per se. She'd merely transitioned into another form. A form that now gave her the missing piece. The alligator smile told much. Maybe certain religious tenets would have her believe that her grandmother had been demoted somehow. But she knew the truth. M'dear was part of the ultimate creation now. Heaven existed only for those who did not know the truth. Who refused to believe.

Blood spells were tricky. The spill of human blood had only so much strength. But when soaked up into the mire, when added with the mucus of…say…a frog…or the sputum of a gator…the droppings of several marsh birds…well that blood had the power of creation.

And creation could always destroy.

And Madley Humes would soon discover that all the technological strides in this universe – and beyond - were no match against the ancient, the old-timey beliefs of this world.

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Sharon Cullars Coffee Talk at 7/23/2011 09:07:00 AM Permanent Link     | | Home

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Tuesday, July 19, 2011



New Story

Don't know if I've posted this before or not. Anyway, I'm taking this story off the shelf, dusting it, and working to complete it before year end. Loose Id has expressed some interest, so hopefully I can get it published. Plotting it as I write. Am interested in feedback so feel free to comment on these chapters.

CHAPTER 1


He'd been made. All of his senses told him so, including the hairs standing on his flesh. Still he had a job to do. As Dele walked into the bar, he spotted Rez sitting at the back table. The gang leader's eyes casually lifted from the Bowie knife in his hand as they locked in on Dele. Clare, who had been leaning over the table yapping away to a mute Rez, also turned her gaze on Dele and smiled widely. She often smiled like that when some poor creature was about to be clipped. Just the other day, Rez deliberately ran his bike into a baby deer foraging near a clearing, several feet wide of the main road artery. The small body hurtled into the air before smashing into the pavement, its head cracked open, its eyes staring into nothingness. Rez yelped in victory as he pumped his left fist into the air leading the raucous crew behind him. Death was an occasion of celebration for the Demons.

Dele had ignored the roiling bile in his stomach as he averted his eyes from the deer carnage. But now Rez's murderous stare was aimed at him and he couldn't help but remember the wet slime of brain and blood left on the road. Whether a helpless deer or a man, they were both fair game. The rest of the gang sat at tables clustered together in the small bar, their leather or jean clad limbs riding rickety chairs and tables, Budweisers lifted, weed smoking up the place. A kilo stash of blow sat in front of Roach ready to be inhaled. Just a taste of the full inventory. A chorus of smirks and smiles greeted him as Lynyrd Skynyrd's "On the Hunt," blared from the jukebox.

This afternoon as they had trailed their bikes through the mountains, Dele had picked up on some bad vibes that had made his knuckles twitch. The vibes were even stronger here. Still he strolled in as though it were any other afternoon at Jed's Bar & Grill, the Demons' usual turf. Jed was behind the bar, ignoring the scene watching the overhead set whose volume was turned down. The grizzled bar owner knew it was healthier for him not to notice too much.

Dele straddled one of the empty stools and Jed pulled out a beer for him, no charge. Dele opened the cold, sweaty bottle and took a swig, feeling the pairs of eyes drilling into his back.

"Dele!"

The summons came from the back, as expected. He sat for a few seconds before he heeded the call. Keeping Rez waiting had its own consequences.

He headed to Rez's table, pulled up an extra chair and sat down. Clare's smeared lipstick bled onto a couple of upper teeth, giving her a vampirish grin. The grin and eyes were gleeful, sure of Dele's fate. But then she had reason to dislike Dele ever since he'd thrown off her drunken advances. That had been nearly four months ago, when he first joined The Demons.

Or rather, when he'd first gone undercover to link The Demons to a West Coast drug trafficking ring that ran from California to Washington State. He was also investigating the several bodies found buried in the Mojave Desert. He'd racked up enough evidence for the trafficking, but not a stitch on the murders of several rival gang members.

Still, the DEA had been about to pull him in. Obviously not soon enough. Shit.

The Glock in his belt had a full cartridge. But there was no way he could possibly take everyone down. That would take a small miracle. No, make that a damn big miracle with the heavens opening up and Jesus himself descending to whop some ass alongside him.

Otherwise, he was a dead man. He read that much in Rez's eyes. The guitar twang coming through the nearby jukebox rang out the epitaph of a man going down. He didn't like Lynyrd Skynyrd, never had ever since his father used to blast it from the stereo in their two by four shanty. That was a long time ago, before Eric aka Dele had escaped his Georgia prison at seventeen.

"Dele, Dele," Rez shook his head. "Now, man, I can get with the idea of taking sides, you know. In this world, you're either hot or cold, but you got to make a choice."

"Don't know what you're talking about, man." Dele took another swig, his mind on his Glock. He may go down, but he was taking a few of these assholes with him. And at least they'd go down for murder this time.

"I'm talking about loyalty or more specific, disloyalty…to the family."

"And how've I been disloyal…to the family?"

Dele's hand gripped his bottle in a stranglehold that he wanted to put around Rez's neck. The cold glass chilled through his fingers.

Rez's face had been indifferent up until this point. Now anger blazed from his eyes, the irises black as coal. Dele had never seen anyone with jet black eyes until he met the gang leader.

"Don't fuck with me, man! Don't you fuck with me! I got ten bags missing, and Roach says he saw you in the supply house. I wasn't never good with math, but I sure as hell can put two and two together. You're copping my bags and doing some side trading. You rob from me, you rob from all of us."

Goddamn. He hadn't been made after all, but he was sure to die if he didn't convince Rez that he wasn't the thief here. And he didn't have to be good at math either to figure out who was setting him up.

He didn't turn around but his words were directed to Roach sitting near the front, probably already started on his treat.

"So Roach, when exactly did I take the merchandise?"

"Man, you know it was you! I saw you!" Roach yelled back, his words already slurring.

"If anyone took those bags, it definitely wasn't me. After all, I'm not the one with the nasal habit."

The chair scraped back and Dele heard the sound of boots headed in his direction. Then Roach was standing behind him. A click. A knife.

Dele's next motion was quick and smooth from years of police training. One moment Roach had the knife to Dele's throat. It shook, as did Roach's hand. Too much snuff, not enough grit. Dele snatched the knife, at the same time his elbow plowed into the fleshy part of Roach's stomach. Roach doubled over with the sudden pain, and the roles were reversed as Dele held the knife against the man's neck.

"Now, we're going to tell Rez the truth about what happened to the drugs, man, aren't we?"

Roach's high had given him momentary courage, but that was quickly remedied by the feel of the blade. He might fear what Rez would do to him, but he couldn't be sure he wasn't going to die at Dele's hands either.

"Look, maybe I was wrong. I thought it was you, man. Maybe it was someone who looked like you…"

"So, which is it?" This from Rez. "Were you lying to me, Roach?" He stood up, abruptly pushing his chair to the ground as he stepped toward the two men frozen in a death clinch. Rez still had his Bowie knife in his hand, but didn't move to help Roach. If anything, he was holding himself back from taking a slice himself.

"Man, you'd better not be stealing from me. It's one thing if new blood here is sneaking, but you been with me from the beginning."

"Rez, I swear to you, it wasn't me. And if it wasn't Dele, then I don't know who."

Dele thought now was the time to speak his peace, or he might never get a chance before either a knife or bullet settled the matter.

"Rez, just admit you can't be sure who stole that stash. You're going to have blood on your hand, you want to make sure you killed the right one. I know I didn't do it. Roach said he didn't and for all that he's a worthless piece of shit, he could be telling the truth. It could be any one of us --- or more likely someone who happened on the stash. With those odds, you wanna think real hard about putting someone six feet under."

Rez raised his knife slowly, placed it at Dele's throat, just a touch at the artery. One slit, and the wall and surrounding furniture would get a new coat of red.

"Be cool, Rez. You want the truth, you're not going to get it killing me."

Rez lowered his knife. Dele lowered Roach's knife. The three men stood at an impasse.

"I tell you what new blood. You get me proof you didn't do this. Which means you bring me the body of the one who did. I don't care who it is. Just get me my $50,000 stash. I'm giving you 'til the end of the week. That way, we'll be squared."

Roach rubbed his neck, his finger coming away with a spot of blood. The knife had knicked when Rez pushed his own knife along Dele's throat.

The jukebox was blasting another song. Three Dog Night's "Mama Told Me Not to Come." Jed was staring at the television as though the last fifteen minutes never happened. Even if one of them had been lying dead, blood staining the floor, Jed would have looked away. Then later, after the crew had piled out, the owner would have put in an anonymous call to the cops to say a body had mysteriously appeared on the bar's floor, no witnesses.

At least there was no body today. Instead when the crew filed out, they left a collection of empty bottles on the tables as well as numerous cigarette butts, blunts and potato chip bags on the floor. The small bar smelled of liquor, sweat and funk.

After the door slammed shut on a hot Los Angeles night, Jed finally turned off the television and went into the storage room.

"Fucking punks," he said beneath his breath as he came back with a broom to sweep away the garbage.

CHAPTER 2


Nailah cut her eyes at the young bloods checking her out. They had to be no more than fourteen or fifteen, and had the nerve to be browsing her like she was some shorty from the 'hood. She transmitted her message with a glare as though to say: "Who the hell you think you're looking at?" The young boys noted the antagonism and one of them shouted, "Bitch, you should be happy somebody's looking at your old ass!"

Nailah clicked her teeth as she continued past them. A chorus of raucous laughter followed in her wake. She knew she shouldn't let it get to her, but the comment stung. She was thirty-three, hardly old but far past the age when she should have to put up with this shit.

She crossed Manchester Boulevard, where the whiff of barbeque piqued her nose. Ruby's BBQ was a staple of the neighborhood, one that Nailah had firmly placed on her "no good" list last month. Those ribs were simply "no good" for her hips or behind, but they were calling to her now, the spicy smell bringing to mind the memory of tearing into succulent meat basted in a sweet, piquant sauce that had no comparison. She quickened her pace, determined to get her suit from the cleaners before they closed. As she passed Lavelle's Braids, the door opened and a newly coiffed customer stepped out with a little girl in tow. The woman's hair was coiled-locked around a gorgeous, pixie face and Nailah self-consciously touched one of her own sisterlocks. She was due for a tightening soon, but she still looked decent enough to get through her interview tomorrow.

The thought of the interview fluttered the butterflies in her stomach even more. She couldn't help the nerves, even though she had over ten years of financial investment experience. She was stepping back, taking a load off by just going for a financial consultant job, a step down from the direct investment banker position she had worked her way up to from a teller position a decade ago. She had worked her ass off, pursuing two degrees at night. And her reward for all the hard work had been her entry into a snake pit where being a woman marked you as prey while being a black woman made you such an anomaly they didn't even bother to swallow you, just spat you out. Despite that, she'd outperformed many of her male co-workers, bringing in clients, maintaining portfolios, and more importantly, generating revenue. Which only garnered more resentment. Now she just wanted a break, a breather. She wanted to know how it felt to live again. Know what it was like to get up to go to a job she enjoyed and come home at a reasonable hour. For the past ten years her office had become home, while her condo was someplace she made pit stops for a change of clothes. Expensive clothes like the Chanel suit she was picking up to wear to the interview. It was her power suit and hopefully, her good luck suit, as well.

Just as she neared the cleaners at the end of the block, a group of roaring motorcycles rounded the bend. The thunderous decibel levels were earsplitting. She glanced around as a line of about ten to twelve bikes swung into the parking lot of an abandoned building across the street. The three-storied eyesore had been boarded up for a year, but signs outside announced a change of ownership and the coming of a suite of business offices. But decay in any form attracted rats of all kinds. She turned her back as she entered the cleaners.

Beatrice, or Bea as she preferred to be called, was handling a couple of customers, but she still acknowledged Nailah with a nod. After a few minutes, the customers were out of the shop and Nailah walked up to the counter.

"How's it going?" Bea asked with a distracted smile as she placed two tickets into the register drawer then closed it. Two short red curls clung to her sweating forehead. Her meaty bare arms also had sweat beads dotting them. But then, the shop felt about ten degrees warmer than outside where the temperature hovered near ninety.

Nailah pulled her ticket from her purse. "I'm hanging in there. Trying to keep cool, mostly."

Bea took the ticket. "Hold on, got it right here." She turned the carousel of cleaning ready to be picked up, pulled out a plastic-wrapped jacket and skirt combo in a warm sage and handed the cleaning to Nailah.

"I absolutely love this suit, but I guess I tell you that every time you bring it in."

"Yes you do, but I never get tired of hearing it. I'm hoping it'll bring me some luck with my interview tomorrow."

"Really? Well, I'm sure you've got that job all wrapped up with a bow, but I'm crossing my fingers for you anyway."

As Nailah took out her money, a throttle churned, rumbling through the small space.

"Damn bikers," Bea muttered, taking Nailah's twenty bill and counting out change from the register.

Nailah turned to glance out the plate window. The bikers were definitely a sight, something out of a movie. A movie featuring stock, one-dimensional characters that assumed all motorcycle riders should look like long-haired, bearded thugs. The bikers across the street all had leather jackets with some emblem she couldn't make out. And of course, the stereotype wouldn't be complete without a couple of skanks hanging off the back of a couple of the bikes, donned in leather shorts too tight to breathe in.

One of the bikers was talking with a couple of black men, or rather arguing. The animosity seemed to be on both sides.

"I've called the cops again and again, but by the time they get here, the hoodlums are long gone."

Nailah turned back to Bea who was also staring, or rather glaring, out the window.

"They do their business out there in the open because they know no one can touch them. It's sickening the way these criminals are taking over. This used to be a nice place."

"Since when do bikers hang out in Inglewood, anyway? Especially along Crenshaw?" Nailah asked.

"Honey, they don't let a little thing like demographics stop them. Wherever there's dirty money to be had, here come the bikers, the Russians, the Colombians, the Jamaicans…it's a global affair. Especially, when you're talking about drugs. There's more diversity in the drug trade than you'll find in corporate America."

"Ain't that the truth," Nailah said softly as she put away her change.

She smiled her goodbye and turned to the door. But before she opened it, Bea warned, "Be careful out there. You never know what these fools are gonna do. Last week, some idiot capped off a few rounds. Thankfully, no one got hurt."

Nailah nodded as she opened the door, determining that she would definitely be careful. Or rather, walk as fast as she could. Considering she lived just a few blocks east, the thought of open drug dealing was a little too close for comfort. Maybe she ought to consider moving. That depended on how well things went tomorrow.

Quitting her job had been a bold move, but she needed time to re-prioritize. Still her savings would only take her so far. Besides, she missed working, missed interacting with people, some of whom actually acknowledged that she'd gotten where she was by sheer grit and brain power.

She was nearing Ruby's, again regretting her self-imposed moratorium on all that was good, sweet and spicy. She paused at the door, wondering if maybe it would be all right to celebrate her possible new job with a box of rib tips, then re-considered. She might jinx the deal she had with God that she would try to do better so that better things would come her way.

She paused at the crosswalk, waiting for the light to change when the roaring bikes started down the street.

As the bikes passed, Nailah caught a closer view of the bodies, most of which seemed unwashed, unkempt. One bulky rider, in the seconds he passed, took time to shoot her a lustful sneer. The garish bottle blond clinging to his waist noticed the look and shot her own daggers over her shoulder.

Closing up ranks was a rider who appeared different from the rest. Maybe because he looked as though he had seen a bar of soap in recent months. And he was clean shaven while the others sported beards of varying lengths. Even in the blur the cyclists became as their bikes raced away, she was left with an impression of humanity among the depraved. Strange how she'd sized up a man just in seconds.

The bikes were long gone when the light finally changed for her to cross. And she had no more time to think on it as she made her way home.

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Sharon Cullars Coffee Talk at 7/19/2011 10:38:00 AM Permanent Link     | | Home

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Alley Reflections (poem) Revised

I've posted before about Absolute Write, a message board for writers I used to frequent. Although I've not hung around the forum for a while, I submitted a poem I wrote a while back and got great feedback. Again, no matter the level of your writing experience, this is the place for good critiques (and they do expect you to reciprocate).

The original poem:
The surface doesn’t tell much,
reflecting up only what the rain gives,
its myriad cracks and fissures
drowning in detritus
delivered by irreverant bodies.
The neon strobe inhales, exhales
ambient light,
bathing her
as she finds solace
against the wet brick,
contemplating
his words.
She knows the smell
of this alley,
its summer haze,
its winter chill,
knows how hard the wall is
when he’s in his throes
and forgets that she is soft.
She’ll remember
this night
when she’s old,
the reeking garbage,
the teasing smell of
moo gai pan
from the restaurant next
door,
the putrifying death
of desire
in a wet alley.


Here is the revision with suggested changes:

She knows this alley -
its smells, cracks, fissures, detritus,
its neon reflections and winter chill.
Knows solace against a brick wall,
how hard the wall is
when he’s in his throes
and forgets she is soft.
She’ll remember
this night,
the reeking garbage,
the waft of
moo gai pan
from the restaurant next door -
the putrid death of desire
in a wet alley.

The thread with even more suggestions.

I also made suggested changes to my short sci-fi fic Death Connection.

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Sharon Cullars Coffee Talk at 7/19/2011 08:54:00 AM Permanent Link     | | Home

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Thursday, December 11, 2008




Flash Fiction - "Rain"

A rain-spilled evening washes through open windows in cleansing gusts. Water trails down the glass in mournful tears that roll off the pane, then drop to the sidewalk five floors below. I hear the explosion of impact.

We once made love in the rain - a long time ago.

Life seeks to invade the enclosed walls of the apartment - cars honk, a couple laughs as they walk by - but the sounds are drowned out by the soft tick-tick-tick of the mantle clock.

My wine glass sits half-empty on the table beside a magazine flaunting a smiling woman on its cover, her chocolate-glossed lips mocking. Her joy is an illusion. She knows the world is shit. Her sparkling smile seeks to diminish that truth into a pleasant nothingness.

My heart beats; your's stopped ─ sometime this afternoon, around three - when the nurse pulled the tubes from your nose, your mouth. Your half-closed eyes stared past me into timelessness.

Tick-tick-tick. It's almost eight. Time inches along painfully. But that means nothing to you now.

Neither does the rain we once made love in.

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Sharon Cullars Coffee Talk at 12/11/2008 10:37:00 PM Permanent Link     | | Home

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Thursday, June 14, 2007



The new Brotherhood of the Dagger

Author Gwyneth Bolton and romance blogger Karen Scott have posted on the Bitch magazine article about the proliferation of sheikhs in romance novels during a time when we're at war with Iraq. The conversation then turned to the exoticizing (or more like caucasianization) of Arabs, Native Americans and Latins - and why the fantasies never include African-Americans or even blacks from other countries. Eventually, the topic of J. R. Ward's Brotherhood came up.

For those unfamiliar with the series, Ms. Ward has created a race of colossal vampire heroes called the Brotherhood of the Dagger. The interesting thing about the brotherhood is that they are very urban - they speak street, dress like bad azzes and have some of the strangest names: Wrath, Rhage, Zhadist, Phury, Vishous, Tohrment (u get the idea how important that "h" is). Anyway, for all their urban lingo and mannerisms, all of the vampires are white. And the question was posed by Karen whether Ward's large readership would have been attracted to these characters had they been Af-American. Some of the commentors said it would have made no difference, so for a lark, I'm re-constituting "the brothers" as brothas. Below is the new roll-call:

The Brothas:

Wrath: the pureblood leader (and blind as a bat)

Rhage: the strongest (and most gorgeous)



Zhadist: the most lethal


Phury: the loyal one



Vishous: the most intelligent


Tohrment: the steady, calm one (OK, just kidding, but doesn't 50 Cent looked tormented to you?)

Doesn't this line-up make more sense (except the last, of course)?

Brothas you just want to sink your teeth into (except the last, of course).

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Sharon Cullars Coffee Talk at 6/14/2007 01:44:00 PM Permanent Link     | | Home

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Wednesday, February 14, 2007






Repost - The Love You Think He's Given

Here's a Valentine's story I wrote several years ago.

The roses came Valentine's Day morning. Pink and white, peppered with sprigs of baby breath. Dyan gave the deliveryman a tip, and he winked with a smile.

"Lucky guy."

"Nope," she returned the smile. "I'm the lucky one."

That got an appreciative laugh before the man bounded down the stairs. Dyan closed the door, laid the box down and went fishing for a vase. There were three to choose from, but she settled on her grandmother's old ceramic vase with the bas relief of roses all around. Gram had passed the vase on to her mother, her mother to her.

Memories were held within that simple container. The first flowers Dyan ever picked grandma had arranged in this vase, a satisfied smile tugging at her mouth. Then she had looked down at her beaming granddaughter and said, "Well, that's just lovely..." words which meant so much to a five-year-old. In later years, Daddy's tri-annual twelve white and pink roses would sprout from that vase on Mama's birthday, their wedding anniversary and especially Valentine's Day. Her mother arranged them lovingly on each occasion, then planted long, sloppy kisses on Daddy's lips.

"Not in front of the girl..." her father would admonish, but with the lightness of heart of someone surrounded by those he loved.

"Well, Dyan's gotta learn about love somewhere," her mother would counter then smile at her only child. "Might as well be us."

It had taken a while to learn the lesson. Hard learning, as her mother would say. But she had learned finally.

"Why you let him talk to you that way?" her mother had cornered her in the kitchen after one of Jason's outbursts. This one at Thanksgiving over two years ago. Way after Daddy died, otherwise Jason would never have even thought about cussing her out in front of company.

"Dyan, does he hurt you?" her mother asked as Dyan took the sweet potato pie out of the oven. Store bought, as was most of the baked goods in the house, but Dyan always warmed them over. There wasn't much time for baking between work and house chores.

"No, Mama...he doesn't hurt me. He’s never lain a hand on me. You know I know better."

That was the first time Dyan's mother had looked at her as though she were lying. She hadn’t been, though.

Not then.

Because the first slap had actually come about a week later. And Dyan wondered how in three years love could turn and vows be forgotten. Jason had apologized with red roses the next day. And Dyan had found a vase for them...the crystal one Jason had picked up in an upscale Michigan Avenue shop. He wouldn’t have his flowers put in anything else.

"I didn't mean it baby, you know I didn't. It's just I get so stressed out...things get too hectic down at the store." Jason was one of the top salesmen at Electec's computer store.

"Yeah, baby I know," she whispered as he held her, trying not to hear the word Fool! echo in her head. Because her heart still throbbed for him.

They were high school sweethearts. Just like her parents had been. He had been on the swim team, and she had been the girl's basketball captain and president of the science club. They had been voted "Cutest Couple", had been each other's prom date. Had known they were meant for each other since sophomore year. She couldn't have been wrong. Jason did love her. The slap was stress, not bound to happen again.

The slap didn't happen again. The next time it was a twist of the arm that nearly broke it. A sprain that required a sling.

She told her mother she had caught her sweater in the door crack and that in walking away her arm was yanked back. Her mother just hrummphed and shook her head. "One day, girl...one day..."

Jason had actually yanked her arm because she had questioned him about not pursuing his degree like he had promised before they were married.

After that, she learned not to confront him. To never sass. Learned how to comfort him quickly before things got out of hand.

Strangely, her concessions to Jason carried over into her job, her friendships. Like she didn’t know that she was supposed to have a say in anything.

She tried to pretend nobody knew. And her friends pretended they didn’t know, either. As though everyone had entered a silent pact not to talk.

But her mother had refused to join the deception. Her mother had never kept silent in all her life. A big-mouthed woman with her own opinions. And somehow, Daddy had appreciated that in her. As he had in his little girl, too.

"Your father never laid a hand on me," her mother blurted out, kneeling in front of her petunias only days after the last incident. Dyan knelt beside her, helping out. She blinked in surprise at the anger in her mother’s voice.

"He knew I'd take a hot skillet to him if he ever tried. I thought I taught you better, Dyan. I'm telling you now...if Jason ends up killing you, I'mma kill him and smile all the way to prison, even to the electric chair if need be."

"It's not like that, Mama," Dyan had tried to defend herself. "Jason loves me. It's just that things have been hard lately..."

The spade in the older woman’s hand attacked the earth as though it was taking down an enemy. Dyan didn't need to ask whose face was in the dirt.

Her mother stopped, still kneeling, looked at her daughter. Dyan hadn't expected to see tears forming.

"And you waiting for things to get good again? Let me tell you something, the true person is the one you see when times are hard. That's when the mask come off. What you got is a coward who can't fight life, so he’s fighting you. And Dyan, you got to remember, you're a fighter. At least you used to be. And you gotta be again. Fight for your life Dyan because girl, one day he'll wind up killing you. Dyan, he don't deserve your love and the love you think he's giving you isn't worth a copper nickel." Her mother had turned back to the petunias.

And Dyan had turned away.

Her mother spoke again, her voice directed to the flowers.

"You don't think things got hard for me and your father? You were just a little girl, but there was a whole year your father was outta work, and was only getting unemployment. Do you know, that man bought me one pink rose and one white rose out of each of them checks. I used to tell him that it was a waste of money, but he would just smile and say that he just wanted me to know that I was loved." A tear dropped into the flower bed. "And I miss him Dyan. I miss that sweet man. Just like I miss those roses. Dyan, don't you see, you're worth pink and white roses, but until you know that, you'll never get them."

That had been last spring. Dyan remembered her mother's words on her drive home that day. They seared into her in a way no other words had. And she would remember them later the next week when Jason raised his hand to hit her yet again, this time because she had turned down the television volume during a basketball game. This even after he had promised he would never again touch her in violence. And something finally snapped in her. Because she wanted someone sweet enough to send her pink and white roses, to plant sloppy kisses on her lips. To never raise a hand to her.

The anger propelled her fist into his gut with a force of strength she thought she'd lost. Her Daddy had taught her how to do that in case someone ever tried to attack her on the streets. She watched in satisfaction as Jason doubled over, then looked up at her in amazement.

"What the...?"

Dyan hadn't waited. She ran to the kitchen, pulled a knife from the drawer. Came back to the living room where Jason had recovered enough to stand upright.

"Get out! Now!" She held the knife tightly, ready to lunge if necessary.

"I'm not leaving! You must be crazy!" But his eyes didn't waver from that knife.

Dyan skirted around him for the phone. Picked it up, cradled the handset between her cheek and neck, with her free hand hovering over the dial.

"Your choice, Jason. You get out, or I call the police and I'll have you arrested."

He tried charming her. "Ah c'mon Sweetie, you know I didn't mean it. It's just been a bad day." He started towards her, arms out in capitulation. She swished the knife in the air and he jolted to a stop.

"You can take your Sweetie and stick it up your ass! Get the hell out of my house!" The voice was so strong, she almost didn't recognize it as hers.

She divorced him a month later. As quickly as she could.

In the succeeding months, he tried to get her back. Sometimes he would send a dozen red roses. She would toss them away. She hated red flowers. The last time he tried, she went and got the crystal vase from the closet, smashed it in the kitchen sink. And it had felt good.

Now she opened the note to the pink and white roses and smiled.

Baby girl, just letting you know you are loved. Happy Valentine's Day. Love Mama.

Dyan smiled, looked up at the pink and white roses in grandma's vase. And knew that she was deserving of them and the love that came with each tender bud. That she had always deserved them. And that she would never let herself forget that again.


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Sharon Cullars Coffee Talk at 2/14/2007 05:50:00 PM Permanent Link     | | Home

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Thursday, November 30, 2006



Annual Bad Sex Award

I'm sure new author Iain Hollingshead (interesting name) didn't vie for this particular literary award, but it's been bestowed on him anyway. The Literary Review's Bad Sex in Fiction award is a dubious distinction, but hey, it might just boost book sales for Hollingshead and that can't be bad for him. Here is a scene from his Twentysomething that won out over the also-rans:

But the peck on the cheek turns into a quick peck on the lips. She hugs me tight. I can feel her breasts against her chest. I cup my hands round her face and start to kiss her properly, She slides one of her slender legs in between mine. Oh Jack, she was moaning now, her curves pushed up against me, her crotch taut against my bulging trousers, her hands gripping fistfuls of my hair. She reaches for my belt. I groan too, in expectation. And then I'm inside her, and everything is pure white as we're lost in a commotion of grunts and squeaks, flashing unconnected images and explosions of a million little particles. (last part sounds kinda nuclear to me)

Here are some other entries:

Black Swan Green by David Mitchell (Sceptre)
If Dawn Madden's breasts were a pair of Danishes, Debby Crombie's got two Space Hoppers. Each armed with a gribbly nipple. Tom Yew kissed them in turn and his saliva glistened in the April sun. I know watching was wrong but I couldn't not. Tom Yew slipped off her red panties and stroked the cressy hair there.

'If you want me to stop, Madam Crombie, you have to say now.'

'Oooh, Master Yew,' she croodled, 'don't you dare.'

Tom Yew got on her and sort of jiggled there and she gasped like he was giving her a Chinese burn and wrapped her legs round him, froggily. Now he moved up and down, Man-from Atlantisly. His silver chain jiggled on his neck.
(Man-from Atlantisly? That should have gotten him the second place award)

Now her grubby soles met like they were praying.

Now his skin was glazed in roast pork sweat.

Now she made a noise like a tortured Moomintroll.
(WTF?)

Now Tom Yew's body jerkjerked judderily jackknifed and a noise like a ripping cable tore out of him. Once more, like he'd been booted in the balls. (Again, WTF?)

Her fingernails'd sunk salmony welts into his arse.

Debby Crombie's mouth made a perfect O.


Against the Day by Thomas Pynchon (Jonathan Cape)

"Mouffette? She's a papillon ... a sort of French ladies' lapdog."

"A - You say," gears in his mind beginning to crank, " 'lap' - French ... lap-dog?"

Somehow gathering that Ruperta had trained her toy spaniel to provide intimate "French" caresses of the tongue for the pleasure of its mistress.

"Well! you two are ... pretty close then, I guess?"

"I wuv my ickle woofwoof, ess I doo!"
(can someone say ewww! What is Pynchon smoking these days?)

Some more entries.

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Sharon Cullars Coffee Talk at 11/30/2006 05:09:00 PM Permanent Link     | | Home

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